"Pay close attention to that man behind the curtain!"

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Experts conclude Chen Shui-bian was shot

Pan-blues will probably say it's an April Fool's joke

Even the Taiwan-based China Post has published an article today that says Chen Shui-bian "did sustained [sic] a gunshot wound in his abdomen," contradicting opposition claims that Chen "staged" the assassination attempt in order to gain "sympathy" votes, and therefore, this was an unfair election (boo hoo!).

Topping off this "startling" revelation is the fact the conclusion was drawn by forensics expert Dr. Cyril Wecht, trajectory analyst Michael Haag, and crime-scene-identification analyst Timothy Palmbach (assistants to Dr. Henry Lee of O.J. Simpson and Jon Benet Ramsey fame) -- a group approved by the opposition crybaby losers in the recent presidential election.

Dr. Lee is scheduled to arrive in Taiwan "in mid-April 12" [sic], according to the "English-y" China Post article. Several other elements of the conspiracy theories being pushed by the opposition are also summarily debunked by Lee's assistants, according to information contained within the article.

The opposition's demand for an "independent investigation" cast doubts upon the professionalism of Taiwan's own investigators, but according to the article, "the CIB [Taiwan's Criminal Investigation Bureau] quoted the U.S. experts as lauding the local police for doing a good job collecting evidence." That's apparently something about which the opposition knows very little.

The opposition will get their recount, but they still want to annul the election and do it all over again -- with different players. With their majority in the legislature (at least until the next election), they could easily revise the law to allow for absentee balloting the next time around, yet the opposition are planning still more protests because of the huge embarrassment of their redundantly failed coup.

I can only wonder what excuse they'll come up with next.
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