Could it be somebody smoking crack?

People First Party (PFP) legislator Feng Ting-kuo is out of his freakin' mind, and he's doing his best to make sure everybody knows it.

Feng was talking to anchor Chen Ya-lin on TVBS-N a short while ago and claiming that an unnamed "Army general" told him how Taiwan's president Chen Shui-bian "staged" the March 19 assassination attempt which left him with relatively minor injuries.

And it only took 58 days to figure it out!

Before the shooting, Feng "explains," Chen put a pipe with a slice along the side (just big enough to cause the wound) directly against his belly and somehow fired a bullet through it while riding on a moving open jeep past crowds of supporters during a campaign parade the day before the election, miraculously achieving a "perfect" non-fatal wound.

According to Feng (whose surname just happens to be a homonym for "crazy"), Chen also received an anesthetic injection and an application of ointment prior to the event.

What evidence he's basing this on is anyone's guess, but shit, who needs "evidence" when you've got invisible friends on your side (and only you can talk to them)?

But wait! What about that pesky bullethole in the windshield?

That bullet which struck Vice-President Annette Lu in the same incident was from a real assassin, Feng admits, but the other one which struck Chen wasn't.

I'm still not quite sure who Feng thinks pulled the trigger or why a bullet wouldn't be able to ricochet off and pass through the sides of such a pipe -- risking death for Chen -- or where the bulletholes in Chen's clothes came from or how he reconciles Lu's real shooting with Chen's coincidentally "staged" shooting.

The most likely scenario is that Feng is just desperate because he knows he'll soon either be in jail or out in the real world having to earn a real living.

As further "proof" of his insane theory, Feng claimed in the TVBS appearance that he discussed his "crack'd-pipe" theory with Criminal Investigation Bureau Commissioner Hou You-yi -- who supposedly agreed with him -- while they were in the bathroom together.

I'm reeeeeeeeeeeally interested in what Hou will have to say about this in tomorrow's news.

By the way, Feng is one of the psycho-legislators who was present at the March 26 riot at the Central Election Commission office in Taipei which resulted when the official announcement of the March 20 election was about to be made. Be sure to see the photo of Feng embroiled in the riot and read his denial:

"I arrived at the CEC with Taipei City Councilwoman Huang Shan-shan, who is also one of our alliance's lawyers, around 1pm that day. We went upstairs to talk to CEC officials until 5pm. How could it be possible that I encouraged the crowd to riot?" Feng said.

That picture speaks at least a thousand words in response to that question.

All smoke, no mirrors
In the meantime, the Chinese Nationalist Party's (KMT) loser presidential candidate has made his own contributions to the "lack of introspection department" by calling members of his own party "wimps" for not wanting to participate in his crybaby sore loser rallies or for urging him to accept defeat in the presidential election.

With all this smoke, you might think that the pan-blues could find a single mirror with which to examine themselves!