"Pay close attention to that man behind the curtain!"

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

True lies

A semi-aside to the "Bulletgate" shootdown

The so-called "319 Truth Commission" (AKA the "March 19 Shooting Truth Investigation Special Committee") was supposedly formed to find the "truth" behind the March 19, 2004 shooting of Taiwan's President Chen Shui-bian and V-P Annette Lu on the eve of last year's presidential election.

Just over one month ago, the Council of Grand Justices declared that the 100% pan-blue commission was unconstitutional.

Despite that declaration, the commission released a 189-page Chinese-language report on Monday whose conclusions seem to be as follows:
* There's a whole lotta stuff we can't figure out because we don't have any money.
* Anyway, our "common sense" beats science any day of the week.
* We can't believe anything Henry Lee says because all of it contradicts our goals.
* Besides, we can imagine all sorts of crazy things Henry Lee would never even think of.
* The only thing we want to talk about on the news is the lack of holes in Chen Shui-bian's pants and underwear.
* Although it seems to go beyond even the original scope of our unconstitutional statute, we recommend that the president be recalled!
On one local TV news report I saw a couple of hours ago, a reporter asked spokeswoman Wang Ching-feng if the commission had come up with any scientifically validated evidence. "No," came the answer. "We don't have the money to do that."

That didn't stop them from drawing the conclusions they did. Shit, why should it? They already had their minds made up last March!

More "clouds of suspicion"
Besides completely lacking in scientific perspective and objectivity, it seems a bit sloppy of them to be using loser presidential candidate Lien Chan's "clouds of suspicion" quote as the title of Chapter 2 of the document. It takes more than 5 pages of that chapter just to present a list demonstrating the magnitude of their incomprehension.

The introduction to that chapter has this to say [translation mine]:
With the reward money exceeding NT$53 million [US$1,661,702.46 at the current exchange rate], the shooter has yet to be caught.
Gee! If money solved everything, Osama bin Laden would be sitting in a jail someplace right about now.

Not a shred of evidence -- only unreasonable "doubts" -- and on this basis they want to recall the president?!
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