First, the damn lies
Did the Chinese Communist Party and the KMT "end civil war hostilities" "with a simple handshake," as Reuters reports? Can either Lien or Hu Jintao be trusted?

Lien Chan shook hands with Taiwan's president Chen Shui-bian at a debate in early 2004, but his hostility towards Chen only grew from that point onward.

Self-contradiction
China's People's Daily, the mouthpiece of Beijing, provides us with this lovely sample of Lien Chan's máo dùn:

In his speech, Lien said maintaining the status quo may be the best way to develop cross-Straits relations.

"To maintain the status quo is not something static..."

Is that Newspeak, or what?!

How exactly does one "maintain" something which is "not ... static"? "496 missiles"? "600 missiles"? "706 missiles"?

When the number is "nearly 1,000," will Lien Chan still consider that to be a "status quo" that should be "maintain[ed]"?

His story vs. history
An article in Monday morning's Taipei Times hits back at one of the points I wanted to discuss -- that is, Lien's belittlement of National Taiwan University (NTU). According to my wife's translation of local Chinese-language news reports, Lien said that "seeds of freedom" had spread from Peking University (PKU) to NTU. Lien also said that NTU had become a good university because one of its former presidents and many of its professors came from PKU.

Despite having a historian as a father, Lien also shows off his ignorance of history. NTU was founded during Japanese rule, yet from his above arguments Lien draws the conclusion that NTU has become a veritable "branch" of PKU. "Peeeee-yoooooooo" is more like it! What a stinker, that Lien!

Lien Chan seems to think that everything good about Taiwan comes from China, saying that he opposes "desinification" in Taiwan. Lien believes in his cold, black heart that it's all about "severing ties between the Chinese mainland and Taiwan," calling this "an extreme idea."

What about the de-Taiwan-ification of Taiwan, motherfucker? How's that for "extreme"?

The people of Taiwan were brainwashed of all local identity during KMT rule to the point where many exhibit "Stockholm Syndrome"-like behavior towards their oppressors. They were forbidden by the KMT to speak Taiwanese in school until the 1980s and forced to speak Chinese. What the fuck do you call that?!

Just one week ago at CKS International Airport, what happened? Mainlanders were once again attacking Taiwanese people for being so damned Taiwanese that they answered questions asked in Taiwanese in -- can you guess which language? Why, Taiwanese, of course!

Lien wouldn't have any idea what "Taiwanese consciousness" is. After all, he has said that he's "100% pure Chinese."

Remind me again about that "ethnic divisiveness" crap?

"It's not democracy, it's 'populism' (except when it involves me)"
To recap something from the previous post, Lien Chan berated the people of Taiwan during his speech at PKU, saying they were letting "mín cuì," or "populism" "take the place of democracy," and he did it in the capital of a country where an authoritarian government that blocks news and other information from Taiwanese web sites plays semantic games to deny the Tiananmen Square massacre.

Lien seems to have completely forgotten about his own rallies -- that is to say "riots" -- after losing the presidential election last year. At that time he attempted to use his own "populist" methods (crying, rioting, lathering, rinsing, repeating) to overturn an actual democratic process (the presidential election that he sorely lost). Losing two elections in a row sure fucked up his definition of "democracy," didn't it?

Chinese roulette
As if all that weren't enough, I've heard (though I cannot confirm) that Lien has proposed cooperation between the armed forces on either side of the Strait and that he wants the Chinese Communist Party to "control" Taiwan "independence activists." What a fucking disaster either of those things would be! Look, if Lien Chan wants to commit suicide, I won't stand in his way, but stay the fuck away from me with that shit!

How many ways does Lien Chan hate Taiwan? More ways than you could possibly ever imagine!

He's supposed to be coming back to Taiwan later today. I want to see him with "egg on his face."