Rumor "floated" right the fuck here!

If Professor Glenn Reynolds (AKA "Instapu...") talks the way he writes, he must really have bad breath. Heh. Indeed.

Pee-yoo!

To hell with consequences!
While an illegal war rages on in Iraq -- a war which was at one time supposedly based on the odoriferous claim that Saddam Hussein had tried to purchase "significant quantities of uranium from Africa" -- Instapu... has this to say about the island that I call "home," which has about 700 Chinese missiles currently targeting it:

Perhaps we can kill two birds with one stone by floating a rumor that Taiwan is acquiring nuclear weapons from North Korea . . . .
[Ellipsis his]

Don't talk with your mouth full, Glenn. You're getting shit all over everything.

Psycho warfare
I missed the original Washington Times story by a couple of days, but considering the source and how it's being echoed echoed echoed and further distorted, you might begin to wonder about its purpose.

The 700 missiles that China has aimed at Taiwan are already a real threat, and the ramping up of that threat is simple psychological warfare. Doesn't Instapu... wonder if his preposterous suggestion to "kill two birds [China and Taiwan?] with one stone by floating a rumor" about "nuclear weapons" might cause people to misinterpret his "Celebrate Diversity" T-shirt. Ya think, Glenny Boy?!

[Note: If Instapu... had said "float a rumor that China is acquiring nuclear weapons from North Korea," I might think the "two birds" to which he alludes are China and North Korea -- but that's not what the Professer said. There's also a huge difference between a harmless rumor ("She's not a natural blonde.") and a harmful one ("The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa .") What the fuck does Reynolds think he's doing by pointing the finger at Taiwan?]

China = Red flags.
North Korea = Alarm bells.
Taiwan = An easy target for chickenhawks?

Effuse, reuse, repeat
Many things in life flow in a cycle. Rain falls, filling ponds, rivers, lakes, and oceans. Then it evaporates, forms clouds, and falls down again as rain. In Instapu...'s nut-rition cycle, he skips one of those stages entirely.

Perverted bedfellows
Let me make it a little bit clearer in case some of you aren't into science or poetry and aren't reading between my scientifi-poetic lines: The Washington Times clearly supports Bush, his administration, and all their excretory activities. The newspaper-cum-birdcage-liner is owned by shit-fetishist Sun Myung Moon, who has connections to North Korean dictator Kim Jung-il (AKA "Dear Leader"). North Korea, you may remember, has nukes and have threatened to used them. Saddam Hussein, on the other hand, had Uday, Qusay, and... oh, yeah, those rape rooms (which have been replaced with... Abu Ghraib).

Bush + Neocons + Glenn Reynolds + Washington Times + Sun Myung Moon + Kim Jung-il = a really big heap of shit.

Bullshit with consequences
What goes up must come down. Got front row seats for a Gallagher show? Bring a raincoat, and expect to get sprayed. If you pick a fight (Iraq), you'd better be prepared to take some blows -- sign up. Enlist your kids, even. If you start a rumor ("Taiwan is evil, heh heh!"), be prepared to reap the natural consequences (nuclear war with North Korea?). There's always the chance that you may not know just how much you don't know.

It just goes to show how blind these motherfuckers are to the reality-based world everybody else is living in.

Tootsie Roll him off your blogrolls
If you link to Instapu... in your blogroll because "everybody else does," you're nothin' but a sheep -- and a stupid one at that. Get him the fuck off of there -- now! He's an overactive, habitual, bulimic (binge, purge, repeat) coprophage. Anything he spews should be considered with that fact, er, "rumor" in mind.

Stand back! The shit has already hit the 'Net!

An update before I'm even finished writing the original
In an article appearing July 1, 2005 on Yahoo! News Singapore, former US ambassador to China and current director of Asian Studies at the American Enterprise Institute James Lilley counters the Washington Post piece. The article says, summarizing Lilley's words:

"[...] U.S. military deployment in the Asia-Pacific region and the security cooperation between the United States and its regional allies will deter China from making an impetuous move."

I wouldn't bet my life's savings on that outcome either. I'll surely write more on that topic at another time, but I believe that the U.S. prefers that the cross-Strait tension not be resolved anytime soon.

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Tags: Taiwan, China, North Korea, 101st Fighting Keyboardists, chickenhawks